L Lawliet: User Guide and Manual
by Blinded Chubi
Summary: Based off "Lollidictator"'s manuals for Hetalia units, I present my first Death Note user guide and manual. Enjoy, dahlings!


**L Lawliet Unit: User Guide and Manual**

**Congratulations, you have purchased your very own L Lawliet unit! In order to avoid injury and suspicion of being Kira, we here at Unit Co. have provided you with this manual.**

**General Information**

**Name: **L Lawliet. Will also respond to "L", "Ryuzaki", "Lawliet", "Coyle", "Denuevre", "Sexy", "Hunchback", and "Candy freak", though he will respond negatively to the last two.

**Age: **Born October 31, 1979, but is manufactured to look in his early twenties.

**Place Of Manufacture: ** Unit Co., Tokyo Division

**Height: **5' 8''

**Weight: **110 lbs.

**Length: ** _Delicious. _

**Your Unit Comes With the Following:**

**One (1) **laptop, bearing the initial 'L' on the back

**One (1) **collapsible suitcase, containing **fifty (50) **different types of candy

**One (1) **Limitless gift card to any national candy store and bakery

**One (1) **binder, containing various criminal cases

**One (1) **microphone

**One (1) **box of voice editing software

**Three (3) **pairs of handcuffs

**Removal of Your L Unit From Packaging:**

**Most L units are rarely hostile when you wake them; in fact, your unit is most likely not sleeping inside his crate. As such, he is quite easy to remove, unless you take his candy briefcase or his laptop (Reminder: Unit Co. is not responsible for any psychological trolling that you experience for bringing upon the wrath of your L unit. Don't say we didn't warn you.) In any case, here are a few ways to easily remove him from packaging:**

Merely open the box and greet your Unit. Unless he's been jostled during shipping, he will greet you politely and allow you to reprogram him.

Yell very loudly, "Kira's about to kill me!" Immediately, L will break free from the box and search for Kira until you calm him down. To calm him, merely say that it was a joke. He will be upset you played a trick on him, but will allow you to reprogram him either way.

If you have a _**Light Yagami**_ Unit, you may have him begin a long monologue of how he'll become a new god, OR you may merely tell your L unit that Light is in the room, and he will break out immediately and try to handcuff Light to watch him. If you're quick enough, you can reprogram him before he cuffs Light.

**Reprogramming:**

**Upon waking your L Unit, he comes in the following modes:**

_Serious (default)_

_Analytical (default)_

_Suspicious_

_Annoyed_

_Lonely_

_Affectionate_

_Paranoid (locked)_

_Sugar Rush (locked)_

_Withdrawal Mode (unlocked after Sugar Rush)_

**The first mode, **_Serious, _**is a mode L comes in. In this mode, he is very, well, serious, especially while investigating. He won't mind you conversing with him while he works, but if you pester him too much, you may push him into **_Annoyed _**mode.**

**In **_Analytical _**mode, another default, he'll carefully analyze you in every way: physically, psychologically, and will make many blunt and direct comments about you. Please do not be offended, as this is merely an L Unit's way of thinking. He **_**is **_**a detective, you know…**

_Suspicious_** mode is unlocked after placing your L unit with a **_**Light Yagami**_ **Unit or a **_**Misa Amane **_**Unit for a period of time. In this mode, he will constantly try to interrogate either unit and in a **_**Light Yagami **_**Unit's case, he'll eventually handcuff himself to said Unit. It is somewhat difficult to get him out of this mode, as the only way to get him out is to prove that he has no credible evidence against Kira.**

_Annoyed _**is unlocked after you, a **_**Misa Amane **_**unit, **_**Touta Matsuda **_**unit, or anyone else annoys L while he is working. In this mode, L will try to make you leave his work area by trying to mentally troll who is annoying him until they can't stand it anymore. He can be taken out of this mode by having a **_**Watari **_**unit calm him down, or, if you don't have a **_**Watari **_**unit, merely leave him alone for about a half hour.**

_Lonely _**is unlocked, usually when L is the only Unit you own. In this mode, he will became somewhat melancholy and either constantly brood or do things around you much more often. Most of our users like this mode, as it can drive L into **_Affectionate _**mode better than any other modes. To get him out of his mode is quite simple: either handcuff a **_**Light Yagami **_**unit to him, or merely hang out with him.**

_Affectionate _**mode is unlocked by **_Lonely _**mode, or by earning the praise of your L unit (most cases of winning him over into **_Affectionate _**mode is usually done by giving him as much candy he wants, or giving him evidence that he needs to solve a case.). In this mode, L will act slightly out of character, by following you around, and committing random acts of hugging (though his glomps seem kind of awkward, due to his mannerisms). While this mode is usually directed towards the user, it can also be unlocked by a **_**Watari **_**unit, or if your L unit is in a relationship with another unit, **_Affectionate _**mode can be easily unlocked by L's partner.**

_Paranoid _**mode is locked, and for a very good reason. This mode is unlocked by L seeing or hearing any signs that Shinigami exist. In this mode, he will refuse to eat anything, will constantly interrogate everyone he sees as suspicious. If he is paranoid enough, he **_**will **_**handcuff you to either a door, a refrigerator, or himself. It is somewhat difficult to get him out of this mode, because whatever you try to suggest or say, L will turn your words against you and question everything you do. The best way to get him out is to merely wait it out until his paranoia ceases. **

_Sugar Rush _**is also locked, again, for a very good reason. This mode can be randomly unlocked on L's snack binges, but will rarely happen, if it happens at all. After L intakes an insanely high amount of sugar, he will have a freakout. In said freakout, he'll most likely:**

**Tear up your house, searching for more candy**

**Will run around as fast as possible**

**Run into the streets, sometimes naked (No matter how enticing a nude L sounds, we beg of you not to purposefully put him into this mode!)**

**Will glomp everyone he sees fit**

**Act insanely hyper, crying out calculations at top speed**

**And he will jump on your bed for hours on end.**

**Like L's other locked mode, the only way to get L out of this mode is to simply wait it out. (Reminder: Unit Co. is not responsible for any damages done against your property, your person, and your loved ones caused by L on a sugar rush.) You will have to wait around 4 to 6 hours before he finally passes out. Once he is asleep, he will enter **_Withdrawal _**mode.**

_Withdrawal _**mode is only unlocked after L has entered **_Sugar Rush. _**In this mode, L will sleep for around eighteen hours, and is impossible to wake, even with a **_**Watari **_**unit. This mode does have a major con for all you fangirls out there: The opportunity to take pictures of L sleeping! **

**Relationships With Other Units**

**Light Yagami:**** L Lawliet units and Light Yagami units have a variety of emotions for each other, which you can interpret any way you like. While they are rivals, most users can easily push a relationship forward by handcuffing them together for a long period of time. The results can get quite steamy, and we suggest putting up cameras in your room to enjoy their relationship.**

**Beyond Birthday: ****These units are rivals, and your Beyond Birthday unit**_will _**try to kill your L unit on multiple occasions. Well, either that, or Beyond Birthday will kill people to see if he can get away with a crime to displease L. These two units can have a love/hate or angry sex relationship, so if you wish you may put them together. Please note that Beyond Birthday units and L units will engage in bondage, so you'll want cameras set up for their, ah, 'sessions'. **

**Misa Amane: ****A constant annoyance to an L unit, but they **_**can **_**develop a relationship. All it takes is to convince Misa that L is better than Light, which is very difficult. If you can do it though, a relationship can blossom steadily.**

**Mello: ****Mello looks up to L, but because he sees him as an idol in a non-romantic way, a relationship is not possible. However, if you have a Mello unit with an L unit, Mello will follow L and help him in any way that he can.**

**Near: ****This relationship is very…difficult to create. There is a .001 percent chance that a Near unit will develop a romantic relationship between an L unit, considering that L always follows the law (including the law against pedophilia).**

**Matt: ****L and Matt are on somewhat friendly terms, but really don't have elevated feelings on either end of the spectrum (Don't love each other, don't hate each other).**

**Ryuk and Rem: ****Unless you wish for L to be in **_Paranoia _**mode for extremely long periods of time, DO NOT LET L INTERACT WITH THESE UNITS. He will enter **_Paranoia _**mode and will not leave that mode for a very long time.**

**Watari: ****Your L unit sees Watari as a father figure, and will usually be in a good mood when he is around a Watari unit. NO ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP IS POSSIBLE WITH A WATARI UNIT AND AN L UNIT. (But then again, who would want that anyway? O.O)**

**Touta Matsuda: ****L units are usually annoyed by Matsuda units, but will tolerate a Matsuda unit until L enters **_Annoyed _**mode. All in all, they are slightly compatible.**

**Aizawa: ****L units and Aizawa units do not usually get along. L units, when they are investigating, tend to annoy Aizawa units with their tactics, which result in Aizawa units becoming angered.**

**Cleaning**

**L units are perfectly capable of cleaning themselves, but mostly prefer bathing alone.**

**Feeding**

**Your L unit only eats foods with high amounts of sugar and fat, so we recommend using the gift card he came with to provide him with food. He doesn't eat actual meals, though, so all you really need to supply him with is candy. L doesn't mind if you eat with him as long as you let him work while he eats.**

**Rest**

**Your unit only sleeps in **_Withdrawal _**mode, so he doesn't rest almost at all. In **_Lonely _** or **_Affectionate _**mode, he will sometimes watch you sleep and stand by your bed. In **_Affectionate _**mode, he is known to sometimes sneak next to you in bed and hold onto you, but this only happens if his **_Affectionate _**mode is extreme.**

**Frequently Asked Questions**

_**Q: My L unit fought my Light unit while they were handcuffed together! I thought they were supposed to…well…you know.**_

_**A: While we guarantee a romantic relationship between these two units, know that is mostly a relationship based off of sexual tension and other ways that aren't really traditional love. As such, they can sometimes engage each other. These fights will pass, and they will go back to normal soon, we promise. If you wish to reduce the number of fights, merely threaten L by telling him you'll cut his candy supply, and then tell a Ryuk unit to calm down Light. **_

_**Q: I lost L's candy card, and so now he's using **__**my **__**credit card! It's already been maxed out!**_

_**A: Oh dear... Luckily, you can call our Unit Co. Help Hotline, and they will immediately send you a replacement card. We suggest you hurry and call us before L starts selling your things to obtain more candy.**_

**Troubleshooting**

_**Problem: Your L unit looks…different. He has slightly longer hair, reddish eyes, and he only eats strawberry jam.**_

_**Solution: Oops! We've accidentally send you a **__**Beyond Birthday **__**unit instead of your L unit! This unit is known to kill and mutilate victims (in some cases, his owner at well), and will start stalking whoever he sees fit. If you wish to return this unit, merely give him a bowl of strawberry jam. While he's eating, you can chloroform him, and then put him back into his packaging and ship him back to us.**_

_**Problem: L is screaming and falling out of his chair.**_

_**Solution: Oh no, it appears your L unit has seen a **__**Rem **__**or **__**Ryuk **__**unit by accidentally touching Light's or Misa's Death Notes. He is most likely entering **__Paranoid __**mode as you read this. We suggest keeping **__**Rem **__**and **__**Ryuk **__**away from L, and telling the Death Note owner to hide their Note in a better spot.**_

**CONCLUSION**

**With enough patience, care, and candy, your L unit can make a great companion. Thank you for purchasing from Unit Co. for all of your unit needs!**

******************A/N********************

Phew! *wipes forehead* I got through with this Unit Manual, and I hoped you liked it. This is an idea that came to me a while ago, and I thought of doing one between chappies of 'Blue Eyed Canary'. So, how did I do?

By the way, I'll be making more units for Death Note, and after that, I'll be doing Bleach manuals too. If you have a request for a character from one of these shows, send it in a review, or just PM me. THE WORLD IS YOUR BURRITO!

Luvvies,

Everyonesfangirl13579


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